Fear

There is something about fear that seems to scare people or rather have the ability to drive people.

It stops you in your tracks, and like a slave you follow the orders of the Pharoah's guards.
Sometimes it makes you feel ambiguious about the decisions you make.
You face off with it at the end of your journey only to end up having to turn back.
It blocks all avenues.
Then, you are left lost on the track. Unable to go back or forth, you sit silently on that path, where day and night never seems to end.
There are people who fear of losing another.
Others fear of failing.
Some fear of achieving what seems unreachable.
There those that fear of change.
Fear of death.
Fear of love.
Fear of self expression.
Fear of rejection.
The list is endless.
Then, there are those that fear life itself.
You lose sight of the light of the sun.
You see a path that ends either way.
But have you noticed the green trees along that path?
Animals hiding in the blueberry bushes.
A pond hidden from plain view further into the forest.

For those that fear drives you,
Loses sight of oneself.
Concerntrating on one goal becomes your weakness.
Acting unreasonably on impulse, on immediate reactions, thoughts.
Tend to held the butterfly too tighly in your hands, you suffocate it and it slowly dies.
You track down a unique species, an almost extinct flower, animal.
You follow it everyday into its daily life and might end up being killed by the one thing you love.
Everything becomes confined in a nutshell.
Then you realise, you could no longer carry that baggage full of nuts,
You end up eating some because you have lost your money on buying the most beautiful bag in the market.

Expression, is one own freewill.
Love, is unexplainable in many circumstances.
Fear, has its negotiation practices.

Finally...

THE BATTLE HAS ENDED

With approximately 50 hours of non-sleeping hours, procrastination, the nagging thoughts of studying, frustrating rants and kicking myself out of bed in the early morning....

EXAMS DIED

and

ASSIGNMENTS BURNT ITSELF TO ASHES

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!~~ >)

Now time to be the tour guide for mum's friendS in a few days time.
Later, its home sweet home.
Soon, it will be time to reunite with friends, catch up and make more memories.

I just hope that things will be better than the last.
Hope that I won't repeat my mistakes.
Going to try spreading out my time for everyone.
NEEDing to drive.
I know I'll miss those that has left.
But I'm looking forward to having fun with all things new, like a child that gets a new toy on every occasion.
Meeting new people and having new experiences.
Meeting old friends and loving each moment.
Then , leaving with content.

Actually...been a year here, I am more ready to go home than the last. So I'm pretty excited right now just typing about it. =)

The Drama

What do you do when a friend is in need but a thousand miles away?
You feel helpless because smileys and words will never help, unable to be there makes it worst.
You know you need to be there physically just so you can give a hug of comfort, words of love.
Sometimes you give the wrong advise, ask the wrong questions or being too direct.
Then, you end the conversation with virtual words of hugs and love, hoping that would be enough for now despite that sinking feeling you get after logging off.

What do you do when everything seems to be against you?
You feel cheated because the blueberry muffin tasted dry but sweet.
You didn't know that ice blended coffee melted to water in an instant and java chips ran out.
Then, you noticed that the food finally came after long minutes, that seemed like an hour, of waiting patiently.
Later, you know your stomach becomes a ball of fire when you ate too much of a good chili mix.

What do you do when exams start to creep up on you?
You feel you need a dose of comedy and a little Sex and the City.
You know it's temporary and chaos is on the way when the exam timetable smacks right in your face.
Then, you rush through everything like a bulldozer going through the highway.
Later, you faint from the smoke of burning assignments and your brain gets fried from excessive studying.

What do you do when everything goes in a spiral?
You feel that you need to let everything out like going for an exhausting run or shouting at the top of your lungs.
You know that no one can help you but yourself.
Then, you struggle to survive, to be the one of change.
Later, you realise that everyone actually has a support system and optimism is the temporary cure that may turn out to be the strongest strength you have despite how hard it is.

What do you do when you realise there is just too much drama in your life?
You feel you need to do the most insane things at 4am like having to drop by a friend's house to rip off John Mayer's album or even walking randomly in the park on a chilly morning.
You know you have friends that will cheer you on and stay with you all the way till the bitter end. Friends that will listen to your daily rants. Friends that turn out to be like family, one you can be confortable with. There isn't a need to impress but to bare all in times of distress.
Then, their jokes and actions that make you laugh till your stomach hurts, laughing and smiling like there is no tomorrow.
Later, you realise that life actually...isn't that bad.

John Mayer

So here I am in the Architecture Library due to the massiveness of the students flooding the main library. I'll probably go to the Law Library in a while too.

O-K
Enough about studying, books, assignments and all for just one minute.

The highlight...

I went to...
JOHN MAYER'S CONCERT YESTERDAY NIGHT!
8 p.m
1st November 2006

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!
IT WAS FREAKINGLY GOOD!
I LOVE IT!
One of the best seats I've gotten for ANY concert.
Soothing jazz funk rock music.
Cosy intimate setting.
Blue red yellow lights dawned on.
Continuum.
Then I fell more in love with his music....and him.
No wait...I think I got more attracted to him because of his songs.
(I didn't think he was that hot until yesterday O__o")
Somehow that sounded like a crime. But no matter.
BWAHAHAHA...yes. It shows I *heart* the musician in him <3

His sounds, his music, the way he carries himself, his voice,
All fits perfectly to this great rhythm.
I came out of the theatre.....contented, happy, excited from adrenaline and still happy.
After that, we blasted his latest album in the car on the way home.
When I got home, I blasted more of his songs.
(I can feel the overdose coming but its alright =) )

Thank you, John.
You've made my day.

P.S: No pictures cause my internet is dodgy =__=" and its back to reality.