RawR-Confessions

Caffaine

2008-04-30T13:57:00.001+10:00

I had coffee and milk tea almost everyday for the last 2 weeks.

Then, I got a free cup yesterday.

And....I got another one today.

Oh joy.

Noticeboard

2008-03-30T17:54:00.002+11:00

The blog isn't dead.

Just that a lot of it are in drafts.

Why you ask? I have no idea.

There isn't going to be one up anytime soon.

Life is getting a little too much to handle.

Cheers.

2008

2008-01-03T18:08:00.000+11:00

2007 has come and gone.
A year of self discovery and finding the hidden meanings of life.
It has to be one of the most significant life changing years I've had.
Life's dramas, self doubt, triumph over hardships,
I realise we never stop learning and indeed become wiser as we grow - whether we made silly mistakes, repent or repeat them all over again.
Making mistakes is a double-edged sword.
You learn, but it stings you at the same time. Nevertheless, I sit here telling myself to stop tending to the wounds.
In the fraction in a second of a time, perhaps, I'll be able to feel like I've lived long enough to have a flashback of how I've lived.

I try to remind myself that I shouldn't make a fuss about the little things,
about how we shouldn't distort straight forward facts,
and how sometimes the heart is right when our mind deceives us.
I'm still in this bubble of mine where everything is uncertain and my goal is a blur.
The past year has brought me closer, but not close enough. At least 2007 made it feel significantly more than usual.
I thank those that have been there for me, when I was complicating, unreasonable or plain stupid.
I thank you for putting up with me.
And I thank the world for giving me a reason to laugh at myself, giving me crap and making life a whole lot more "interesting" to be able to type this long-winded post.

Welcome 2008.
I hope this would be better than the last.

2007-12-12T20:52:00.000+11:00

Sometimes it's about the learning curve,
Sometimes emotions are a double-edged sword,
Other times you feel you're meant to do more,
At current times you don't really know what else to do anymore,
But go on with life as one should.

Over

2007-11-20T17:02:00.000+11:00

3 days to home...
to family...
to Max...
to the boy...
to driving...
to PS2...
to all that is love...

and stuffing myself crazy.

E.X.A.M

2007-11-16T22:45:00.000+11:00

I.can't.wait.for.this.to.be.over.
4 more days to cram.
Here we go.
One last one.
It'll be over.
Right?

Candles

2007-11-14T23:31:00.000+11:00

Today I spelled the boyfriend's name with candles.

Happy Birthday Dear :)

Passer By

2007-10-24T23:10:00.000+10:00

Inspired

Taken a back a little

Everything is just right, right at this very moment.

Dazed

2007-10-13T14:44:00.000+10:00

How funny and dreamy it was then.
Just when you think it could never be a reality, it happened.
Changing in front of your eyes.
Proud moments, sharing the joy, the downs.

Sometimes one is torn between what one desires and what one has to do.
I have yet to decide.
There is always so much to discover, so much to do. But why is there so little time?
So little that it's only enough to fulfill one's obligations and responsibilities.
Even if we could make time, distractions are bound to pull you away.
Could we ever fight this on our own?
Not a chance.

Forgotten

2007-10-04T13:55:00.000+10:00

We forget...

...how it's like not to have a care about the world

...how to be ourselves

...the little things

...we're only human

...life is ever changing

...how to let go

...to appreciate being above ground

...to give

...we need time alone at times

Sometimes we forget that miracles do happen.

We always want something we can't have.
Wanting to try the impossible.
Having an opinion.
Fighting for what we think is right.
Sparks of controversy, jealousy, medioracy.

How naive humans we are.

Vibe

2007-09-18T01:44:00.000+10:00

When there's an uncomfortable vibe, you ask what's wrong.
And then you pour it all out.

The only answer is because you care so much,
you breakdown into so many thoughts that you try to find a way to balance it out.

2007-09-13T08:25:00.000+10:00

The world had always been...unfair

In so many ways.

We just live in it.

Like fire, burning, slowly, forever through the skin.

Stumped

2007-08-31T16:26:00.000+10:00

Swamped with assignments.
Moodiness scattered everywhere.
Uncertain weather messing up her hair.
Gone an interview.
Lost a self battle.

Broke a hole in her pocket.
It isn't getting any easier.
Unfocused thoughts.
Wanting a long slumber.

Divertion

2007-08-15T21:30:00.000+10:00

I saw a guy stripped butt-naked

and then a batallion of butt-naked guys running around....

Yeap...twice.

That's prosh week for you.

Dance

2007-08-10T20:39:00.000+10:00

The floor filled with pairs.
Jazzy music for a social dance.
Colourful twirls and tricky footsteps.
Its exciting and plain to see how people have passion in movements, stares - the all in all emotion of how we could forget about the world.

Swing into motion.
A sense of calamity.
How the mind makes up most of what we see, what we feel.
If only we could dance our troubles away.
If only we could tap dance to rhythms.
If only we could swing into a happy mood as easily.
Noise would sound like music.
And every step would be spontaneous.

Semester

2007-07-26T18:46:00.000+10:00

It's back to the start of another semester.
One that would be different.
Maybe more change, which isn't something bad.
A good friend has left but to a place she has been wishing to magically transport to.
Needing to catch up with others,
The phone beeps with messages.

Time to think further.
Just because there is the empty space in the heart.
Needing to find out what it is.
Random thoughts with random posts.

Random

2007-07-16T13:16:00.000+10:00

When the sky turns grey,
And raindrops hit against the roof,
With a warm cup of water by the side,
And a slight runny nose and cough,
She often wonders,
She often whisper to herself,
And she can't help feeling......*speechless*
(actually...I can't find the words)

There is always something about life eh?

The Black Lens

2007-07-09T23:43:00.000+10:00

The girl has finally gotten the dream machine.

A device and medium that takes snapshots of the imagination, her thoughts and probably a blur vision of the future.

*w00t*

2007-07-01T17:45:00.000+10:00

I don't know

*twitch*

RawR!!!

2007-06-18T23:22:00.001+10:00

Sometimes I drown into a pit,
Where I feel sorry I've missed many precious moments back at home ground.
The 21st birthdays,
Family weddings,
Friends tripping,
Late nights on the road and 'teh tarik halia'.

But also I love the memories here,
So much that letting go becomes harder each time,
Each time I take a step, a different path and as every second ticks away.
The joy,
The love and hate,
The passion,

The survival kit,
It's different all together.

Falling

2007-06-17T20:33:00.000+10:00

The times have been tough.
Emotional trauma, bad days, overflowing thoughts.
They eat into us little by little.
You would've died by the time you realised you have lost your limbs.
Like parasites, they suck the life out of you.

Sadness and joy come and go.
They are probably mutually exclusive.
We won't know joy without having gone through sadness before.
Clusters of thoughts close the mind to alternatives.
Break it off slowly and you will find that light of hope.

Cry if you must.
Be a daredevil if you must.
Kick and scream if you must.
Listen to sad sappy songs if you must.

Hopefully it would wash away those sadness in your eyes,
Even if its just for a while.
As long as you are able to keep that flame of passion.
Because that is where the magic is.

We are still under the same sky
And that is where you will find those close to your heart.
When time passes, your life grows into something unexpected.

Beginnings are always hard but they eventually blossom into something beautiful,
slipping pass your consciousness.
Thoughts that hid a treasure yet to be found.
We move on, to live and seek life.
In the end,
Are you who you want to be?

For The Future FUTURE

2007-06-12T16:00:00.000+10:00

I don't know whether to laugh or not.

Second attempt.

What were you in your past life?
You were ... an opium dealer.

'What" were you in your past life?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Third attempt.

What were you in your past life?
You were ... the guy Shakespeare REALLY ripped off.

'What" were you in your past life?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Do you see a pattern here?
In combination of all three...I'll REALLY be able to rule the world.
Now, anyone up to make that a reality please?

The Past

2007-06-12T15:49:00.000+10:00

And this is significant...
For your future reference about the girl...

What were you in your past life?
You were ... the black plague.

'What" were you in your past life?' at QuizGalaxy.com

How?
I don't really know.
In a good way perhaps?
I think I can take over the world now. *insert evil chipmunk laugh*

Breathe

2007-06-12T03:42:00.000+10:00

Sometimes we just need space to breathe.
Moments take our breath away but sometimes it fills up too much of the gaps in between.
When you take a deep breathe you know it'll slow things down,
Keep your heart at a pace,
And your brain muscles start to relax a little.
But you still feel the stress in your shoulders.

We start talking to the pitty patter of the rain at 3a.m.
Thoughts calm down.
The smell of water in the air breaks the tension.
It also breaks thoughts into segments of confusion.
Sometimes thoughts becomes too much of thinking, too much to say.

Life is moving all so fast,
You don't have time to stop and catch your breath.
You keep running, sprinting across the fields not knowing where is the finish line.
It's clearly....not visible no matter how fast, how swift, how skilled you're running towards a certain direction.
In the end, it is really about getting that gold medal or finishing the race?

2007-06-08T03:42:00.001+10:00

How does it feel
And what does it mean
To be living the dream?

Discretion

2007-06-06T22:10:00.000+10:00

How do you put overwhelming feelings into words?
Sometimes we can't and we do a gesture instead.
Whispering into another's ear.
A tight hug.
A phonecall.
Flowers.
Cards.

The expectations that run high on adrenalline.
The thrill from the roller-coaster ride.
The high from a colourful drug.
You can never get enough of it because you feel so damn good after that.
Like how life moves so fast, you can never keep up.

How changes sometimes become obstacles.
Obstacles of growth or set backs.
Could we ever gage the potential of the self?
Or maybe we should just take the advice of 'Do what you want' - OK GO.
Sometimes the wrong things may turn out to be right.

We just have to learn to breath, to take notice, to scream.
When frustration takes over, there is no going back.
When you're sleepy go forward with a cup of coffee.
When you're stuck in a traffic jam, try breaking some rules.
When you run out of ideas, make a self-made smoothie totally by impulse.
All alternatives have the good and the bad.

Avoidance will take you no where but leave you at the intersection.
Sitting on the open road, make a choice.
If you ended up in Vegas instead of New York, it isn't too bad to roll some dices.
Maybe get drunk and married for no apprent reason.

When the sun shines, soak it up.
When it rains, walk in it.
Uncertainty includes big risks - it could cost your life, it could change your world.
Certainty is similar.
The only difference?
You won't mind the setbacks. You go for it.
We are all ordinary but what we do with life makes us extraordinary.

Cinema night

2007-06-06T21:36:00.000+10:00

There is something about pirates that I love.
The funny and witty Jack Sparrow especially. =)
The hillarious one liners.
Rock....*shoo!* [writer falls over]

Ahem.

It was a chilly night.
A dark foggy night.
Rain sprinkles.
A dashing guy in white collar.
Sweet words of expression.
Albeit goodnight.
Warm bed covers.
Late waking hours.

That Time Again

2007-05-26T17:13:00.000+10:00

The rain falls.
Raindrops and wind in her hair, her face.
Her jeans soggy wet and cold.
The night arrived quickly.
The love of jazz around me.
Reminise about the past week.
Worry about pieces of papers that determines the outcome of your life.
Concern about those you love.
Helpless in support.
Declining motivation.
Push you to the edge.
Falling without wings.

Overthinking. Overworried. Over-stressed.

2007-05-13T22:07:00.000+10:00

We just make a fool of ourselves sometimes.
We forget about the people around us.
Especially when your mind plays tricks on you and you regret saying or doing all of that before.

Then we thank those souls that stood by us.
Whether we were being silly or being an inconsiderate idiot.
Although you do wonder why would anyone want to stick by such a difficult yet complicating individual.

Thank you and sorry.
As much as they are humble words.
Sometimes one hopes to find a better word than that, one that means more than that.
More than empathy, apologies and remorse.

Autumn

2007-05-07T15:17:00.000+10:00

Its the beginning of autumn.
Time does fly.
But so does experiences and life.
Change.
Do we really change with the seasons?

Sometimes life portrays a sort of contradiction.
Sometimes to forget and enjoy we indulge in a big tub of ice-cream and chocolate by the television, as guilty as it is.
We feel incompetent at times of confrontation.
Tied down by the heavy chain of the human mind, behaviour, emotions,
We are force to face the storm despite flying blades and red bloody pathways.
Eventually we will get through with divine power, or more or less hopefully.

There are snapshots of this and that.
Coffee and chocolate
Love and hate.
Happy and sad.
Defined and uncertain.
Words and pictures.
Feelings and actions.
Hugs and kisses.
You can have either one or both in a single moment.
Each item has an attached meaning, visualization, memory.

Our hearts sink into melodrama whether we have it all or not.
There may be blue skies today but maybe not tomorrow.

So I decided to go out, walk in the park and savour the day.
Until I find the answer, this shall be for now.

One

2007-04-30T15:24:00.000+10:00

I'm just an ordinary girl

trying to conquer the world.

Dreams

2007-04-28T21:06:00.001+10:00

Where the lights were bright and we were waiting for the ladies.
He asked me. I answered.
Then he said,

"Keep the dream alive. You'll get there."

I haven't heard it for a long time. Such a quote.
I wonder how long till I get there.
How long I can keep it up.
Will my passion and my heart be strong enough, fierce enough, courageous enough to withstand the storm if it pours down on me.

As a lyrical song goes,

"Cos you've been searching for answers.
But the city screams and all your dreams go unheard"

My intangible dreams...
Like the sky I have yet to reach out to.

Speck of Moments

2007-04-25T22:29:00.000+10:00

Quiet nights spent walking along the river, the docks.

Sometimes in a place where everything is empty, a walk tires you out.
Yet although the sun has set, a girl sat on by the pier.
The water was dark and black.
But the lights lit up the city.
Tripod on one shoulder and sling bag on the other.
All the shots were not decent. Mostly all failed attempts.
So she gave up and decide to stare out into the water of darkness.
The unknown.
The empty pathways.
Flickering lights.
Chilly breeze.
It's a pity humans can't walk on water

This time a busker stopped her in her tracks.
Something about a moment.
Staring into open space.
With millions of thoughts but she could never pick any one out.
Letting out sighs.
The city seemed so big, like the world.
And all everyone wants is...to be loved, individualistic yet collective, to be realised, to make it in this world where it comes down on you every once in a while.
Can we ever fight the world?
When life becomes difficult, complicated, frustrating...
All we can do is hope and believe in ourselves to get through it.
And sometimes with a little help.
Millions of people. But would you take the time to know every one of them?
It's a pity opportunities don't arise very often for such interaction.

Ultimate has become a very interesting sport through perspective.
A few who are very good at it, are also the respected talents.
A moment of joy led to many interpretations of care, love and happiness.
It sends a tingle and a warm feeling inside.
Back home jazz and acoustic songs accompanied by hot tea was indeed a lovely combination.
But somehow....

2007-04-21T14:44:00.000+10:00

The chill from the rain.
Feet numbed.
Body shivered.
Fingers tingled.
Accoustic music.
Hot green tea.

Millions of thoughts.
One of life.
One of the world.
One of the unknown.
One of whys.

Its time to pay a visit to that place again.
It will be soon enough.

I'll be there soon enough.

Imagini

2007-04-09T19:16:00.001+10:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Hmm..I don't know.
What do YOU think?

Calmity

2007-04-08T00:31:00.000+10:00

On the way home from a dear friend's party...
I heard a melody by a church.
A spotlight on the priest, dressed in white.
There were people standing outside, mostly in black clothing.
The wind had a gentle breeze that made the candles flicker slightly.
They held it with poise.

I stopped in my tracks.
Took a moment and stood there, watching.
They sang with a soft soothing tune.
I couldn't quite hear the words but I stood still and prayed.
I didn't know how long I was there but it gave me a sense of calmity, somehow.
I prayed with a blank mind.
But I knew I prayed for something very important.
One that goes out to all.

As I walked away from such peace, this song comes to mind.

So you lost your trust,
and you never should have,
no you never should have.

But don't break your back if you ever hear this,
well, don't answer that,
Cos' in a bulletproof vest,
with the windows all closed,
I'll be doin' my best,
and I'll see you soon.

And in a telescope lens,
and when all you want is friends,
I'll see you soon.

So they came for you,
they come snappin' at your heels,
they come snappin' at your heels,
don't break your back if you ever hear this,
well, don't answer that
Cos' in a bulletproof vest,
with the windows all closed,
I'll be doin' my best,
and I'll see you soon,
and in a telescope lens,
and when all you want is friends,
I'll see you soon.

you lost your trust, oh no
you lost your trust, no
don't lose your trust, oh no
don't lose your trust

Coldplay - I'll see you soon

I think it says it all that I was feeling then.

2007-04-04T20:24:00.000+10:00

Sometimes.....
Life is about taking chances, isn't it?

Somehow.....
We live in this bubble of ours.

Then....
Frustration grows.
We remain completely lost and unattentive.

Eventually.....
We are lost for words.
We may find the answer.
We might drown.
We could persist.
And we totally lose it.

2007-03-29T15:53:00.000+10:00

The weather changes ever so abruptly.
Like how the mind works and unecessary thoughts go through your head.
Like how you can't predict when it'll rain or shine.
You only know in that moment...you should get home soon before anything happens.

How do you know what is right when there is no wrong?
They say go with the intuition, with the emotion and feelings.
But what if change shouldn't happen now.
Its satisfaction with the current lifestyle, current status, current contentment.

The human mind is made to go through the wars of life.
We get stabbed, lose a limb, get cut.
But in the end, just be thankful you made it out alive and that there are people waiting for you at the other end.
Later, hold their hand and stare at the sky,
Hope for the best and savour your victory.

Hectic

2007-03-26T11:24:00.000+10:00

Sometimes assignments start to get to you.
You realise the outline is all over the place.
And suddenly there is no starting point.
You go completely berserk trying to re-track back.
But all is in distress that you continue moving forward until you come to a crossroads with signs pointing in one of the many directions.

Time flies without even you noticing the seconds are ticking.
However, youself an individual seems to move slower than that, at your own pace.
Then, you realise you've been left behind all alone until someone comes with a light and holds you by the hand, leading you to the light.

You thank those that have remained close to you, by your side all this while to help you pull through and listen closely.
Despite the new life, the old ones are those that should be treasured as well.
Like how you reminise about your childhood and how you've grown since then.
Like how a new toy always looks better than the old.
But without experiencing the old there is no new.

Sometimes we think too hard about how to go about things that we totally forget how straight forward it is to solve a puzzle.
But humans are like that.
And I suppose that is how we learn.

Holding Hands

2007-03-13T18:28:00.000+11:00

*Inspired on the way to Uni.

"Feeling secure in your arms,

Enjoying your company,

Now that we've held hands....

What happens next?"

Colours

2007-03-11T00:31:00.001+11:00

The real world is colourful yet dull.
Ordinary people are black and white.
Being ordinary hides our bright colours from the real world.
We are surrounded by millions of people. We are as close as 6 degrees. We cross paths every so often with strangers, breathing the same air.
Yet, we don't mean anything to anyone besides family and friends.

We fade into noise regarded as mundane.
It's all too familiar.
We live within certain moments but it doesn't mean you won't get to know each other.
It could be any coincidence.
We can only hope for people to see our colours within black and white.
Hopefully a rainbow is somewhere between the rain and the sun.
Then, maybe...hopefully...you'll save someone.

A Romantic Comedy

2007-03-03T23:18:00.000+11:00

There is something about love that makes the small insignificant details seem more precious and outstanding than most.
However, clearly...
We don't always see what is right in front of us.
We walk through that transparent wall without getting hurt. Unlike glass, you tend to hit your head first before realising it was there.
When you're out of love you laugh about how silly you are, yet you feel touched by the romantic gestures of your partner.
But could you ever realise the right person in time to make a right turn?

Sometimes we laugh about the way we act and the way we think when we're in love.

Sometimes we reminise about old fond memories - how silly you sound on the first date, how you were nervous about what to wear, what to say, whether you click with him/her.

Sometimes there is a grin on your face.

I guess that's why we watch romantic comedy movies.

When the weather gets a little crazy.....anything can happen.

And even life...is a romantic comedy.You could never get enough of the action and how it cracks you up later on.

P.S: Actually I really have no idea what I'm writing about. Just inspired by a romantic comedy movie =)

Quote

2007-02-24T02:48:00.000+11:00

"Something I care about everyday, but I could only say it once a year...Happy Birthday"

Just thought it was interesting. Not the fact that it was about birthdays.
Well, give it some thought. =)
It's good for the soul.

Valentino

2007-02-15T21:34:00.000+11:00

Happy Valentine's Day!!
Red roses this year.

And got a yummy...
black sleek shiny thing
I love it but I can't believe I gave in.

21

2007-02-05T02:03:00.000+11:00

What an interesting moment in the 21 years of my life.

When I love everything about...
the love and joy of those around me
a party at an Italian restaurant with a club atmosphere
the contentment of unconditional friendship
a big ass shooter that made me embarassly flushed
a blue lamp from Ikea
a big white Mokona...
a yellow potted Flip Flap...
the latest Switchfoot CD, 'Oh!Gravity.'...
a black shirt with my name in pink on it, saying "me sexy" on the back...
a black Deviruchi soft toy, the one that ran away in RO...
a book by my favourite author, Mitch Albom...

Thanks to all that attended and accompanied me on this very special day. It has been 21 years. I'm still learning every bit of life and all I can hope for is the best out of it. Happy Birthday to me.

Backies

2006-12-14T21:07:00.000+11:00

Hello world.
Well, more like hello blog.
It has been a while.
Sorry it was unannounced that I am finally home.
A lot has been going on. Not emotionally but physically.
Going on holidays and meeting up with friends.

I don't know if anything has changed just yet but I'll find out soon enough. =)

Fear

2006-11-14T17:24:00.000+11:00

There is something about fear that seems to scare people or rather have the ability to drive people.

It stops you in your tracks, and like a slave you follow the orders of the Pharoah's guards.
Sometimes it makes you feel ambiguious about the decisions you make.
You face off with it at the end of your journey only to end up having to turn back.
It blocks all avenues.
Then, you are left lost on the track. Unable to go back or forth, you sit silently on that path, where day and night never seems to end.
There are people who fear of losing another.
Others fear of failing.
Some fear of achieving what seems unreachable.
There those that fear of change.
Fear of death.
Fear of love.
Fear of self expression.
Fear of rejection.
The list is endless.
Then, there are those that fear life itself.
You lose sight of the light of the sun.
You see a path that ends either way.
But have you noticed the green trees along that path?
Animals hiding in the blueberry bushes.
A pond hidden from plain view further into the forest.

For those that fear drives you,
Loses sight of oneself.
Concerntrating on one goal becomes your weakness.
Acting unreasonably on impulse, on immediate reactions, thoughts.
Tend to held the butterfly too tighly in your hands, you suffocate it and it slowly dies.
You track down a unique species, an almost extinct flower, animal.
You follow it everyday into its daily life and might end up being killed by the one thing you love.
Everything becomes confined in a nutshell.
Then you realise, you could no longer carry that baggage full of nuts,
You end up eating some because you have lost your money on buying the most beautiful bag in the market.

Expression, is one own freewill.
Love, is unexplainable in many circumstances.
Fear, has its negotiation practices.

Finally...

2006-11-13T21:26:00.000+11:00

THE BATTLE HAS ENDED

With approximately 50 hours of non-sleeping hours, procrastination, the nagging thoughts of studying, frustrating rants and kicking myself out of bed in the early morning....

EXAMS DIED

and

ASSIGNMENTS BURNT ITSELF TO ASHES

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!~~ >)

Now time to be the tour guide for mum's friendS in a few days time.
Later, its home sweet home.
Soon, it will be time to reunite with friends, catch up and make more memories.

I just hope that things will be better than the last.
Hope that I won't repeat my mistakes.
Going to try spreading out my time for everyone.
NEEDing to drive.
I know I'll miss those that has left.
But I'm looking forward to having fun with all things new, like a child that gets a new toy on every occasion.
Meeting new people and having new experiences.
Meeting old friends and loving each moment.
Then , leaving with content.

Actually...been a year here, I am more ready to go home than the last. So I'm pretty excited right now just typing about it. =)

The Drama

2006-11-05T04:01:00.000+11:00

What do you do when a friend is in need but a thousand miles away?
You feel helpless because smileys and words will never help, unable to be there makes it worst.
You know you need to be there physically just so you can give a hug of comfort, words of love.
Sometimes you give the wrong advise, ask the wrong questions or being too direct.
Then, you end the conversation with virtual words of hugs and love, hoping that would be enough for now despite that sinking feeling you get after logging off.

What do you do when everything seems to be against you?
You feel cheated because the blueberry muffin tasted dry but sweet.
You didn't know that ice blended coffee melted to water in an instant and java chips ran out.
Then, you noticed that the food finally came after long minutes, that seemed like an hour, of waiting patiently.
Later, you know your stomach becomes a ball of fire when you ate too much of a good chili mix.

What do you do when exams start to creep up on you?
You feel you need a dose of comedy and a little Sex and the City.
You know it's temporary and chaos is on the way when the exam timetable smacks right in your face.
Then, you rush through everything like a bulldozer going through the highway.
Later, you faint from the smoke of burning assignments and your brain gets fried from excessive studying.

What do you do when everything goes in a spiral?
You feel that you need to let everything out like going for an exhausting run or shouting at the top of your lungs.
You know that no one can help you but yourself.
Then, you struggle to survive, to be the one of change.
Later, you realise that everyone actually has a support system and optimism is the temporary cure that may turn out to be the strongest strength you have despite how hard it is.

What do you do when you realise there is just too much drama in your life?
You feel you need to do the most insane things at 4am like having to drop by a friend's house to rip off John Mayer's album or even walking randomly in the park on a chilly morning.
You know you have friends that will cheer you on and stay with you all the way till the bitter end. Friends that will listen to your daily rants. Friends that turn out to be like family, one you can be confortable with. There isn't a need to impress but to bare all in times of distress.
Then, their jokes and actions that make you laugh till your stomach hurts, laughing and smiling like there is no tomorrow.
Later, you realise that life actually...isn't that bad.

John Mayer

2006-11-02T15:17:00.000+11:00

So here I am in the Architecture Library due to the massiveness of the students flooding the main library. I'll probably go to the Law Library in a while too.

O-K
Enough about studying, books, assignments and all for just one minute.

The highlight...

I went to...
JOHN MAYER'S CONCERT YESTERDAY NIGHT!
8 p.m
1st November 2006

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!
IT WAS FREAKINGLY GOOD!
I LOVE IT!
One of the best seats I've gotten for ANY concert.
Soothing jazz funk rock music.
Cosy intimate setting.
Blue red yellow lights dawned on.
Continuum.
Then I fell more in love with his music....and him.
No wait...I think I got more attracted to him because of his songs.
(I didn't think he was that hot until yesterday O__o")
Somehow that sounded like a crime. But no matter.
BWAHAHAHA...yes. It shows I *heart* the musician in him <3

His sounds, his music, the way he carries himself, his voice,
All fits perfectly to this great rhythm.
I came out of the theatre.....contented, happy, excited from adrenaline and still happy.
After that, we blasted his latest album in the car on the way home.
When I got home, I blasted more of his songs.
(I can feel the overdose coming but its alright =) )

Thank you, John.
You've made my day.

P.S: No pictures cause my internet is dodgy =__=" and its back to reality.

In the end...

2006-10-27T15:09:00.000+10:00

I believed the touch of the grass instead of the sky...
When there isn't a way out, the light will shine a way...
Somehow...

Dreams pt.1

2006-10-22T00:50:00.000+10:00

Hidden dreams....
Hmmm...

I need to go for a run now. I really feel like going out there for an endless carefree run.
But with 5 degrees at night...it's not such a good idea.
Trust me.

2006-10-17T23:42:00.000+10:00

Contradiction of the self.
Is there ever a truth?
Views of a scene.
Should it be shared?
A scenery we all see the same.
Like the grass and moist from the ground.
The sun glaring.
The warmth.
But you don't feel the sky.
You can't touch it nor reach it.

Which do you believe, the touch of the sky or the grass?

Sunny Days

2006-10-12T00:59:00.000+10:00

Sunny days, sunny days.
Warm rays on skin.
Lying on the lawn.
Face towards the sky.
The sun glaring.
A hand reaches to the sky.
But it doesn't touch the clouds.

A shine in eyes.
An unreachable blue beauty.

2006-09-30T16:25:00.000+10:00

Flipping through Friendster
Floating by, silently, reading blogs
MSN nicknames, messages, display pictures
Comparisons of photographs of the past and present
Where we were then, where we are now
Laughter over coffee
Smiles that opened up identities
Letters and cards stashed in a secret box
Memories remain deep in the heart(happy ones of course =) )
Unconscious care and compassion in every action, every word
Unsaid emotions in hugs

As naive as this may sound...
I fell in love with my life all over again.

P.S: Yeah, I know. Kind of corny(is that even the right word to use? O___o). And then there are the bad and crappy things in life too but for now I'm feeling positive. Its as good as it lasts I suppose.

2006-09-30T02:49:00.000+10:00

To greatest friends

To the best parents

for your unjudging ways

for your forgiveness

I knew you were always there

Regardless of time and space

A deed I could never repay

All I can say...

I love you

What The...

2006-09-27T18:01:00.000+10:00

Crap...
I got my hopes up high...
I feel so cheated. T___T
My bad.
Another filler arc...but at least its better than the previous ones. ~___~

Oh, this is a LOVELY song..=)
I *heart*

You spotted the ocean
At the head of the trail
Where are we going?
So far away
Somebody told me
That this is the place
Where everything's better
And everythings safe

(chorus)
Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone

Half an hour later
We packed up our things
Said we'd send letters
And all those little things
They knew we were lying
They smiled just the same
Seemed they'd already forgotten we came

Chorus X2

Back at the homestead
Where the air makes you choke
People don't know you
And trust is a joke
Don't even have pictures
Just memories to hold
That grow sweeter each season
As we slowly grow old

Anime Rant...

2006-09-27T04:15:00.000+10:00

OMG!
FINALLY!
NO MORE DAMN FREAKING FILLERS!!!!

Yes, as you can see I can't contain my excitement and I have to blog straight away. ^__^""

KAKASHI GAIDEN!!!
I *heart*...;p

Ramblings...

2006-09-22T22:01:00.000+10:00

Who are we to judge that the sane as insane?
How do you see the insane as being sane?

I have no idea what I was talking about back there. Oh well.

So time has pass. As expected from the beginning, it was fast.

When six months was not enough to tempt,
A year, one is ready to go home in content.
Concluded that once a year visit is good enough.

Parents are the greatest.
Seeing how I amuse them and vice versa, I go along with their attics too.
But from afar, not physically with them, they amuse me more.
When I hardly call, there is a conscience that says I should especially after a month of silence.
When all else fails, an unexpecting call will come to my phone with a loud "grrr" on the other end.
Close relatives that casually talks and jokes with me over a forced beer drinking session.
And then they would ask all the same questions in aspects of my life - love, education and appearance.
Those are also the times I wish the beer was vodka or any other liquor I can get my hands on. (partly because I can only drink smooth expensive imported beer that does not rough against my throat)
Nevertheless, I love all of you, my family.

Max, the most lovable boy.
I want that carpet boy in my room as always.
Sleeping and waking up next to me.
With his big oogly eyes, he gets away with everything.
I wonder if he has put on weight. Tsk tsk tsk.

Friends, old and new.
My ears listen to their stories.
How sometimes it's upsetting when words don't help.
I will be there for you nonetheless.
Sorry that we don't keep in touch often but we can pick up where we left off regardless, surely,
No matter time or place.
That is as much faith as I have.
If not, come what may, I'm glad I met you.

A past is a past. Leave it there.
If you want to stay there, don't pull her in too. It's just unfair.
She can forget unwanted pasts.
But only because she wants to move forward and will only take along with her happy memories in her baggage.
If you want to dirty her clothes with a past she cannot change, so be it.
Because then, you don't know her,
And what pasts can do to change a future you will never see.

The world is all so wide and colourful.
Life is a road I won't stop travelling.
Because...
I want to see how your world is like.
Tell me your story.

Journey...

2006-09-17T18:39:00.000+10:00

We cross paths with the unexpected.
The people we meet, ambiguous at first.
Judgements aside preferred.
Time passes, you learn to love, to listen and to care.
Rants of ups and downs, spontaneous reactions, eyes of understanding.
You land on a new place hoping for the best and you leave a place with imprints of your own.
Memories link us altogether,
And one day...the story will continue.

In Rememberance...

2006-09-11T16:12:00.000+10:00

of September 11...(9/11)

God bless the courages souls that died on that day

As well as giving strength to families that have lost love ones.

The survivors, stand strong and tall...

And those that had been watching...

Live everyday to the fullest.

Give a hug, a kiss, a whisper...

saying

I love you.

And so it continues...

2006-09-06T21:51:00.000+10:00

Everyday I drop by the uni union bookshop to pick up my daily newspaper.
This week was different.
Sometimes I just don't want to see what is on the front page.
Because I know...it'll be about him and the stories of his life...his passion.

I used to watch Crocodile Hunter on Discovery Channel.
I was in primary school then.
My love for animals were as big as his. He was an inspiration.
My ambition even included animal preferences - a vet, marine biologist or something related to the World Wildlife Fund (WWF). (unfortunately I wasn't good in science, but opt to be involved in some other way)
The only thing I failed at was not going 'out there' sooner. I have always said to myself that I will do so after my studies. But somehow it feels as if it was too late.

Everyday now the media shows those visions of him over and over again. The quotes. The thoughts of those that were close to him. All the same. Repeating.
And now I feel as sad as ever.
When I heard the news...it hasn't hit me. Not yet today. Not fully.

Somehow similar to once upon a time.
Almost the same feelings.

It is starting to settled in. He really isn't here anymore.
Statements and views are contradictory but I still feel it was a great lost...
Not knowing how the family is coping it even more worrying and unsettling.
I pray for them to have the strength to move forward at this difficult moment- Terri, Bindi and Bob.

Crikey...I'm missing you so much, Steve.

Steve Irwin

2006-09-04T20:22:00.000+10:00

If only it wasn't true...

Rest In Peace

Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter.

You have been an inspirational environmentalist icon to all of us and to the little ones.

We will remember your enthusiastic passion towards nature and mother earth.

Animated Artist

2006-08-30T20:11:00.000+10:00

This is rather interesting I must say...

Animated Artist

Answer

2006-08-26T18:58:00.000+10:00

A song stuck in my head...and it just won't go away...

感じて欲しい　導くまま　愛の方へ落ちておいでよ
求めて良い　　心のまま　ここからは自由だから

SET ME FREE

許して欲しい　去りゆくまま　最後だと知りながら
一人で良い　　愛するまま　　悲しみを飲み込んで

IT'S MY LOVE

ヤバイ誘い　招くまま　軽い目眩
止め処もない　遠い想い
カナリヤの鳴き声が聞こえる　時代
稲妻の出会い　迷い
我が侭で淡い想い　不埒だろう

いつの間に　
もっとお前のこと　見つめられたら良かったのかも

GET IT OUT　抱きしめられなかった
そして　きっと時が流れ二人がもし　また出逢えたなら
その日には感じて欲しい

LOVE IS　BEAUTIFUL

感じて欲しい　導くまま　愛の方へ落ちておいで

IT'S MY LOVE

ヤバイ誘い　招くまま　軽い目眩
止め処もない　遠い想い
カナリヤの鳴き声が聞こえる　時代
稲妻の出会い　迷い
我が侭で淡い想い　不埒だろう
君が終わるね

いつの間に　もっとお前のこと
見つめられたら良かったのかも
GET IT OUT　抱きしめられなかった
そして　きっと時が流れ二人がもし　また出逢えたなら
その日には感じて欲しい

LOVE IS YOU

街で不意に流れてくる　愛の歌は
二人夢見てたあの頃を　優しく彩って

秋の海は　今でもまだ　相変わらず生きているけど
これだけは信じている

LOVE IS　BEAUTIFUL

いつの間に　もっとお前のこと見つめられたら良かったのかも

LOVE IS　BEAUTIFUL
LOVE IS　BEAUTIFUL

そして　きっと時が流れ二人同士　また出逢えたなら

信じている

LOVE IS　BEAUTIFUL

So addicted...
to
this
song.

Answers into the inner world of love I guess...
There was a translation somewhere...But I forgot to save it. Oh well~

Glay feat. Kyosuke Himuro- Answer

I like the lyrics just because it isn't really implying that love is wonderful and all, though you see that phrase a few times. It sounds like a personal piece really.
Oh, who am I to say. Even I don't know what love is. Not now at least, maybe later. =)

By the way, I took the lyrics off the net. I ain't no genius of the Japanese language (though I wish I was). But then again, I might end up buying everything there, so much that I won't want to come back, and be buried in all the media products and Japanese food. Hoh~ Manga, anime, CDs, lastest platforms, cool gadgets, unusual packaging of junk food and what not. >)

Sometimes...

2006-08-20T19:07:00.000+10:00

You get stoned.
You see time and space moving but yet you are still.
Only your space is on the pause button.
Watching as people pass by - walking, laughing, whispering, staring.
The grass dances as the wind blows. Ripples across the lake. Your hair in your face.
The waking life.
A dream that you're conscious of.
Yet you have no idea what you were doing in the last 30 minutes then.
All these actions seems like...
A mirage in itself.

You probably have no idea what I'm talking about.
Well, neither do I.

Rant

2006-08-16T01:58:00.000+10:00

It's one of those days you feel like you need more sleep but at the same time you need more coffee.

Contradicting ain't it?
Maybe it's the pile of assignments at the side of my table.
No one said life was easy going all the time.

Pain

2006-08-12T16:30:00.000+10:00

A quote I like to share with everyone especially those close to me, those that are going through a rough spot...
And to others, something to keep in mind. =)

"Pain. You just have to ride it out. You can only hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside" ---Meredith, Grey's Anatomy

Human...

2006-08-10T01:21:00.000+10:00

When sometimes it's hard to let go.
When immediate reactions proposes a long crime waiting to be punished.
When you don't expect the unexpected, (and vice versa) it happens.
Words become powerful swayers and hits you in the face when you turn around.
Emotions are tied when we convey a sentence. Decoding it.
Its representation confines you to only what you know, your inner knowledge and presentation or perspective. Even perception.

Amazing how the mind works.
Amazing how emotions take over.
The soul and the heart can only handle so much.
But a chance to shine will come.
Words are anew. Different emotions and representations are placed.
Pain is dilluted to water.
And water will be nothing more than clear liquid that keeps us alive, making us human.

Bunny Suicides...

2006-08-08T21:31:00.000+10:00

Talk about physic dynamics......

Bunny suicides.
Funny yet sad.
And no I am not a sadist.
Nor am I implying I hate bunnies. (I'm an animal lover..love on bunnies included)
No, Navy I am not suicidal. (I'm sure you know that already...lol)
No, qsl I have not been infected by that tendency of the subject that you have from time to time...you worry me to death with it. (meh...you know I sayang you ;p)
Yes, this is only for comical reasons.
And I have no idea why I'm posting this up.
Maybe because its art simplicity and humour just amuses me...at this point..

Actually it's because I saw the comic book at the bookstore today. Was very tempted to buy it. Anyone planing for an early Xmas present for me? ;p

The Book of Bunny Suicides by Andy Riley
Oh,
even they even have the Return of The Bunny Suicides.
Hmm...I WANT! =___=

PS: This post is meant to cheer up the human mind through comic strips. DO NOT attempt to perform any of these stunts personally.

Now I wonder if I've done the right thing posting this.

Still...does anyone want to take up that offer of buying me the comic books? ;p

Triggered

2006-08-02T17:31:00.000+10:00

A personal heart message

When love's meaning is ever so diverse.
Its definition contradicts at times.
In many situations and sentences it fits in with an alternate meaning.
Changes when directed at anyone that falls into different relationships within your circle.

My definition may be different from yours.

Love you.
My friends, my family.
I'm thankful for everything.
Thank you for your relationship, your caring touch, your unjudgemental and unconditional love.

It may be that I was immature and have made many mistakes in the past which are regretful, but as long as you don't tie me to that past, forgiven me and look at how I am now, it's enough. That's enough for me now...

I thank you sincerly for that.

Smooth Jazz+Chilly Rain+Hot Green Tea

2006-07-23T16:54:00.000+10:00

So here I am...
On a rainy day...
With a cup of hot green tea and jazz playing in the background.
There is something about rainy days that makes me inspired or some sort.

It's the end of a long month holiday and back to the torture but nonetheless enjoyable life of uni.
Back to seeing familiar faces and the usual place for coffee.
Back to meeting new people.
Back to starting another 4 months of the semester.
Studying, learning, experiencing, thinking, debating, and cramming for exams and assignments.

The simplicity of enjoying a cup of hot tea in the chilly rain does give you that bit of time to reminise about life so far...
The people I've crossed paths with.
The events that were upon me.
Thinking about nothingness.
Where they all for a reason?
Was there a reason why my friendship with another didn't connect for long?
Maybe it wasn't meant to be.
Was there a reason why an attaction of sorts didn't blossomed between two people?
Maybe it wasn't meant to be.
Why didn't I end up buying that top I always wanted.
Oh, that was because probably I felt too guilty to spend anymore money that day.
Let's scrape that.

It's easy to appreciate and enjoy the simplicity of life.
Watching a good old movie with friends at home.
Having coffee and laughs at Starbucks.
Just being able to be in the company of others.
What about complexities and complicating part of life?
Like how people have different views on how long distance relationships would work.
Some take that risk and some don't.
Or how walking and cycling is different but same in a way it still takes you to your destination.
Or maybe those that seem that they are meant to be are never together.
A simple decision of yes or no becomes over-complicated when considering other external and internal factors.

The dynamics of simplicity and complexity of life still makes me think a whole lot. That some things are just hard to see through.

Want and Have...

2006-07-15T01:03:00.000+10:00

Is there a difference between wanting and having something?

When you want it, you strive for it, you desire it.
So you find all ways and loopholes to acquire it.
When you've already got it (yes, you appreciate it!!), you have to work hard at maintaining what you own or even giving up later having to find out it wasn't all that good to have it after all.

It could be an object, a person, a dream, an ambition...
You get the point.

How do you know if you are meant to own something? That you were made for a special purpose. Yes, everyone can do anything but I also believe that each and every individual has their own specific traits and natural talents.
What do you do when you lose it? You can consciously see it drifting away and you're left unsure whether it is really happening. It might be an illusion but yet you can touch it.

What is a dream if it can't be fulfilled? What use of an interest if you can't expand that into passion? I wonder at times, when I've worked so hard for something, when I'm so near to the finish line, was it worth all the effort? Sometimes you get pulled away when you are so close. At other times, you reached the finish line only to have everything else get out of control.

Now I'm faced with 3 roads, and the road less travelled has spikes with a grizzly bear waiting to eat me. That would stop me dead in my tracks. The other 2 has me smooth sailing but I would probably blame myself for not being eaten or walking into those spikes.

Does this post even add up to what I'm trying to say? O___o

First Day of Work and Last Day of Football Fever

2006-07-11T00:10:00.000+10:00

France lost? NOOOooo~~~ !!!

=___="""
And plus the football finals was on my first day of work. Oh joy~
Still deprived of sleep and having a multi-tasking job.
Way to go.
But it was a good match. Lots of near goals but one that ended up in a penalty shoot-out. Which I think France didn't do to well a job as they should. What am I saying? The results are all out on the newa already.

Oh yea. I still gotta decide on my major. It isn't fun. Taxing my brain.

How does one decide with unknown consequences for taking such risks?
I know the risks but I also know what I'm able to achieve especially academically.
And its not looking pretty.

Wrong, right and whatever

2006-07-07T20:37:00.000+10:00

Just realised this blog has been dead.
Hmm...Maybe I should take off the tag board.

So yeah, just going to have a short post because I think I am about to blow-up anything I can find and slap that person I see in the mirror. Having a bad day probably. Alright, make that dayS. Not that I would dwell in it long. But that is what a blog is for, no? I have this really bad feeling in my gut and proving things have gone wrong and un-smooth for the past few days. From uni stuff to personal self reflection to overthinking. Thinking was probably just a phase every once in a while only during the holidays it seems. I even sent wrong messeges to the wrong people in multiple chatrooms. Oh joy~ Now my shoulders hurt from skiing and I'm deprived of sleep. Don't tell me to sleep early because my sleeping patterns are pretty much screwed. By the time I get it back on track, uni will be starting. So I couldn't be bothered at the moment.

If only frustration and time could be something tangible. Then, I would probably just burn them all and make them disappear. Hmm, apparently writing this is not helping me. Argh! Whatever already. Oh, and there is no 'right' in this post.

Are you bored reading this yet? I apologize.

Birthday Wish

2006-07-04T01:30:00.000+10:00

A rather early post...
I'm glad and thankful enough to have my dad here to celebrate his birthday as a family, since I didn't go back this holiday. =) (and cause he almost couldn't come due to heavy workload)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!!!~~~ XD
The greatest guy in my life.
Forever will be.

Lots of love.
I wonder what will we be eating tonight. Hmmmm.....

Whattt???!!!

2006-07-02T20:21:00.000+10:00

A random rant...

I can't believe...

BRAZIL LOST!!!!

Argh!! =(
Howwwwww.......??
Bleh. =__=

Pictures of Memories...

2006-06-29T01:44:00.000+10:00

Here I am sitting in the living room, on a red comfy sofabed while my friend is snoozing away on the other bed. Listening to Teddy Geiger and Kisschasy does calm the soul but also bring up many nostalgic {I know I use this word a lot. It happens all the time. Please bear with me =) } memories and creates an atmosphere for writing. I have no idea why.

Another silent night with her being unable to sleep. Back to the routine of chatting and just appreciating the time. Though she realises she'll get panda eyes soon. It's the holidays so...heck. Time seems to pass by so fast these past mid year its scares her but yet knowing that it was spent wisely and the feeling of being fulfilled is endless.

Looking through old pictures, she re-creates those times. Photographs that capture the candid moments entwined with mostly laughter, happiness. Life never seemed more alive when thoughts could create a colourful world on glossy paper. Even black and white puts colours on pictures, images of souls. When they turn old, hopefully no one throws them away or none of them gets lost. Preserving memories are truly rewarding in a sense that good ones are good to remember and brought up once in a while. What about bad memories? I tend to forget details or the entire scenario all together. Sometimes just getting over it really fast or somewhat.

But how do you run away from it if others remember? Does it tie you to that past?
She'll probably go into carefree mode..hehe. What's important is now and the future. =)
What about you?

Inspire Me in Early Morning

2006-06-28T04:04:00.000+10:00

Nostalgic music plays in the background,
Wonder if my laptop feels tired already,
Msn messenger is beeping,
It was because I awoke from my slumber,
Tossing and turning,
Why, I have no idea,
Chatting to those still awake,
One or two it seems,

Thoughts reminise in my head,
As the dark skies were silent,
Only words spoke,
Mind unwanting to rest,
Body unable to keep up,
Soothing music to the ears,
I lay in bed waiting to slumber again.

Me Em' : Simple Pleasures

2006-06-24T17:07:00.000+10:00

Been tagged by Silentside. I'm never good in these things. So here goes...

My Top 10 List of Life's Simple Pleasures (In no particular order)

1. Desserts : MmmMm~ cakes, chocolate, ice cream...comfort food and one for a sugar rush. Hyper hyper!~ *boing boing*

2. Food : RawR!!~ Glorious food. I was once known as a mob of hunger people. But then again its more on a survival thing. Think about the poverty rate in other countries and how lucky we are to have food on our plates with all the nutrition we need.

3. Internet, telephone and gaming platforms : The internet and telephone as my source of communication where I am a phonecall away or a mouse away from anyone in the world. It's great just to be able to pick up the phone and ask someone how was their day. I'm basically a gamer and gaming has definately open up my imagination. It's nice to fantasize about the impossible and dream a little.

4. Family and friends : These are the most important people in my life now. Oh, that includes my lovable shih tzu Maximillian(Max for short. Dogs don't seem to respond well to long names). My family have stuck to me through thick and thin, loving me unconditionally, standing my annoying self, providing me financially with a good education and bringing me up the best as they could.

Friends are the best 'family' as well. There are those that have been with me for a long time. Practically knowing me from the inside out. I want to thank those that have not judged me, have always been there for me, listening to my rants, forgiven me for my faults, your concern and worry, and the wonderful as well as unforgettable nostalgic memories.

There are many more countless things I could list for this part but.......yeahhhh.

5. To love and be loved : What is a world without knowing love? 'Only when you learn to love, will you be loved'. Read that somewhere. This is more towards my family and friends. I love you all dearly. It is when we love we see the true person inside and could only hope for it to be mutual. I guess when your know and been on both sides it's something really beautiful. =)

6. Music : One of the best mediums to the emotional soul. It heals you and yet it can break you. Lyrical songs speak to the heart, manipulates the mind yet soothing the soul. I love music. It fills life with a theme song for every scene, every situation.

7. Drawing, Writing and Photography : My love and passion for art. It never fails to keep me happy and occupied. Also another way of expressing myself and growing with different styles. An undying love of mine. ;p

8. Hugs : Embracement that gives you a sense of security, love and relief. Puts a smile on your face on a bad day. =)

9. Reading : An ultimate source of information, communication and relation. Getting to know the world and perspective of others. Opening closed minds, presenting different sides. Another source for my imagination.

10. Walks : May it be long walks along the sceneric park and city. Observing, enjoying and thinking silently of the mundane, some elements we take for granted. Learn to appreciate them again, loving life all over again.

Sorry of it sounds crappy. Typing his with a half working brain and watching the replay of a football match.

Dandelions...

2006-06-20T23:05:00.000+10:00

I was this little kid with baby fats at my cheeks and two ponytails,
Running on the playground fields.
Big old trees shaded the pathways, children swinging on swings and others would be on the slides.
There would be hills that look steep and sceneful then.
When I sat at the top, I lay down on the grass and stared at the blue sky.

She has this fasination with dandelions.
A white round ball, fragile and light.
With a small breeze, the tiny white fluffy umbrellas floated in the wind.
Like all her friends that dispore throughout this vast world. Never knowing what the future holds.
Holding in the overwhelming love for them, she knows they have a purpose.
For studies, a career, family and personal reasons.
They would grow to be a better person, have a good life - a path to self discovery.
Distance test the ties of friendship, the power of love and independence.

Like dandelions, the wind brings its seed to the unknown world and later placing it in a field to grow, hoping to survive.
Its endurance are tested.
How far can you go?

Football Fever...

2006-06-19T12:22:00.000+10:00

*half opened sleepy eyes*
*drowsy mind*
*snuggling in bed*
For the first time I've watched all three matches in one day.
4 hours of sleep....and it's actually sunny outside.
Oh, joy~
I think I'm gonna do that again. Hehe...

Japan vs Croatia = 0-0
Brazil vs Australia = 2-0
Korea vs France = 1-1

Happy Father's Day

2006-06-18T16:13:00.000+10:00

Fathers are like role models
They teach, they mould, they love and they carry you on their shoulders.
When the rain falls
He is the umbrella that shades me
My father figure
Brings me to the other side of gender
Going through the alleyways of thought
To stay away from feelings that are bought
We laugh,
We cry,
Hugs and kisses before bedtime at night,
Financial support and serious talks,
To know that one man that really loves me
By letting me see
Closest to giving me the world
His love undying at least
Advice and pre-caution is what I get when I'm out on late nights
A worrier he is
When the phone is dead
A silent concern that is never seen but felt.

A balance between guys' and girls' likings
The stereotype in between
Is something worth combining
Cars, music, football and adventureous feats
Is what I learnt from my father
My protector,
My supporter,
I wish I could give him more,
Being successful and happy is all I can give
An unconditional love by a daughter that truly miss,
The best father he could ever be.

I love you, Dad. Happy Father's Day. =)

P.S: Its an unrefined poem. Just typed what pops up in my head. But definately one from the heart =)

Simplicity...

2006-06-18T00:16:00.000+10:00

We want everything in our lives to be simple, or rather, having the simple life. But how simple is simple?

There is something about humans that want to complicate the simplicities of life. For example, drinking a cup of water. Why think about whether the water is boiled when you can just drink it? Is it just paranoia? It's difficult to make a decision between yes or no. It's difficult to answer an objective question with four already presented answers to you.

Why is it that we overthink what we cannot change? There is a sense in wanting to solve and resolve an issue on our lives. Closing a chapter that is meant to be forgotten or being a past that could only be looked back upon. She never knew much about herself. Only that she never wanted to be the person she was before. Doing all those mistakes that she regretted, being naive and going through the ups and downs of life. Learning from them is important but would it limit us from many other possiblilities? Like...due to pre-cautions and probably past bad experiences we might not want to take any chances. Then, sometimes you get a knock on the head to snap out of it by friends, strangers and events.

Overanalyzing and overthinking then comes into play. Couped up in a cage of many options but yet not being able to choose one. We think about the far-fetched reasonings, giving benefit of the doubt and having logical explainations. Draining the emotional self and finding relieve-ness through agents of compensation. Complications are probably from circumstances and the makings of the mind. Actually I get pretty confused about myself too, as a person. Simple things are sometimes complicated to the point of frustration. But I guess it's human instincts to weigh the pros and cons and picking the best option.

Maybe we should look at every situation being individually different and no two same situations can have the same outcome. Afterall, every being has different characteristics. Take past experiences as warnings, a preparation.

She has learnt to see things in a different light compared to before, not that she is complaining. It can be simple depending on the outlook of a person one assumes but complications are hard to run away from. Can anything in life ever be that simple?

Time...

2006-06-15T23:26:00.000+10:00

There is something about time that makes us move, that makes us stop in our tracks while everything around us is moving simultaneously. We take out a watch from our pocket, check the one on our handphones and look at the one resting on our wrist.

Tick tock, tick tock.

Time makes changes in our lives. We move from one point to another. We progress, we mature, we grow up, numbers change, and appearances are left uncertain. Sometimes she feels that time passes her by so fast, she hasn't even finished counting her fingers. A time spent with loved ones runs out reminding her that it's time to hit the books again. Then, she has to leave them making difficult and yet departing for a cause at the airport. By the time she has returned she wonders,

Would everything have shifted, missing all the occasions and special candid moments?

It would be a lie to say no. But thank goodness for the internet one would say. I won't deny that myself. At times like this, one would hope for time to be still. Just for a moment. So one can feel and sense every touch, atmosphere, smell and sound.

In a dream, a minute is about half an hour in reality. That's just my random estimation. I'm not sure myself. Nonetheless.........
She would refuse to get up with beautiful illuminant dream, but wanting and crying to break off from the chains of nightmares is a totally different issue. In nightmares, it's rather best not being dreamt of at all or fast forwarding the entire scene.

At times, itime is slow when one is at work doing overtime, a student waiting for a flight home or worried parents waiting for their children to come home from a camp trip. We'd rather have time speed up instead of going through the agony of waiting, of thinking and overcoming hardships. The future is unknown and the past remains tainted.

Why is it that we use time as a measurement, tied to our lives? A year in a relationship, ten years of friendship, 20th year anniversary, born in the year of 1994 equivalent to an age. Is it to show we would eventually out live time?

If only time could be controlled. But that would only mean chaos in the world.
I'll live with this for now.
Memories are meant to be remembered and the present is meant to be faced head on.
She will only hope for the best because for now life is just.

W.E.L.C.O.M.E

2006-06-14T03:42:00.000+10:00

Hello all!! =)
A big WELCOME to you if you've crossed paths to this anonymous blog of mine.
I'm technically a blog reader that hardly comments and had only recently started to errr...respond in blogs?
So this is pretty random.
At the moment I'm not sure if I would stay to this blogging thing...
Nonetheless, I will try to ensure its survival.
O-K
It's starting to sound dramatic. =__=""
Bleh.

Till then, stay tuned! =)